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New First Blog Post

​So…. I had what I thought was a great first blog post ready to go at the beginning of the school year and decided to ask my little brother, David,  who works in social media for some feedback.  Feedback to students is a critical piece of the learning process and has a research-base that speaks to its impact in supporting student learning.
Here is some of the feedback I got back from him:
Hey, some comments in the document. Overall, it's well written, if a little verbose. You're trying to communicate too much in a single sentence. Remember, this is a blog post. People have short attention spans and your writing style is more 'thesis' oriented and not really very consumable by the masses. I wouldn't stop you from publishing this as is, but you're trying to communicate something to a very specific audience: parents. And your audience is receiving this communication through an online medium: a blog. Blogs are conducive to shorter, single purpose/concept communiques. Short, to-the-point sentences, bullet lists, visual content (pictures) etc. help with making sure the message gets across. The point of this blog is to say "I care about education and your kids" and it reads like a PHD thesis. It's okay as is, but for future blogs you need to think about what you're trying to communicate and who you're communicating it to.
Hope that helps more than it confuses. 
Dave
I know it brought him great pleasure to be able to give his older sister feedback! 



In order for feedback to be useful it need to be:
timely – given in a timeframe where the individual can act on it to improve their learning, 
specific  - “great work” doesn’t cut it; the feedback needs to highlight specific areas that can be improved or that are good so that the individual can learn from it, and 
actionable – the feedback needs to be something the individual can use to improve their work in the future.
In any case the year started and while the feedback from my brother was timely, specific and actionable other priorities for my time emerged and my first blog post fell to the back-burner.  Moving forward I hope to share my values and beliefs with you throughout the year, rather than in a "thesis-like" first blog post as was the feedback I received from my brother. 

Looking forward to an exciting year ahead!

Sincerely,

Angela McPhee

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Haysboro School

1123 87 Ave SW Calgary, AB, T2V 0W2
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School Contacts

Principal
Mrs Angela McPhee
Area Director
Mr Jeff Hutton
Trustee
Julie Hrdlicka

School Information

Grades
K-06
Enrolment
190
Programs
Regular
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School Hours

Morning Start
8:45 AM
Dismissal
3:30 PM
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